Ok. So the other day I was out with a friend and he was telling me about this story he wanted to write making fun of people at the gym. I was, of course, all for this idea since I feel very strongly that the gym is a cesspool of inorganic sentiments and materials that drowns the natural spirit of health and beauty and replaces it with inflexible physiques and desperate contrivance. I digress.
I told this friend that I would be very pleased to post his story under the guest author category on this blog. Yesterday I sent him a friendly reminder that I was awaiting his story. This is the email reply I received this morning:
“I admit, I’ve been hesitant to write it. Part laziness, part rethink. I don’t know how much you know about French history, but at the end of the 19th century, novelist Emile Zola wrote an article titled, J’accuse! It was in response to the arrest and conviction of Captain Alfred Dreyfus—a Jewish army officer—for some offense. Anyway, the article was a turning point in the ‘Dreyfus Affair’ and ultimately secured Dreyfus’ release. It’s significant because of the anti-Semitism at the time and miscarriages of justice in general. All that said…maybe I should call my article, Je m’accuse. This last week I have accidentally managed to talk to some of the gym members and you know, they’re not all bad. It has all given me reason for pause about how I judge other people based on perception. Should make one hell of a blog. Keep pushing me.”
Holy Mother of Sufferance! My readership is really not that wide. I’m sure that not one of your gym buddies will be reading this blog and even if they did, don’t you think that they, as iron-pumping drones, wouldn’t see the self-deprecating humour in a comedic story about gym bunnies? Not to mention that poking fun at inflated muscles and vanity bears a rather scant similarity to anti-Semitism. I’m not totally sure about that, but I don’t think anyone will be sending Katyusha rockets your way.
Go ahead, pin your tail back on. It’ll be ok. I promise.
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